Women who have trouble reaching orgasm during a sexual encounter could try wearing socks. 

Or downloading an app that will show your partner what you want. 

Or texting your partner a list of do’s and don’ts. 

That’s the advice that two sex educators gave to 45 students–mostly women–who attended a Campus Activities Board-sponsored virtual panel discussion on “The Female Orgasm” in February. 

“Don’t focus on the end goal without enjoying the game,” advised Marshall Miller, co-author of the 2007 book, “I Love Female Orgasm: An Extraordinary Orgasm Guide.” Miller presented the session with Lindsay Fram, who teaches sex ed classes to students from kindergarten through college. 

Miller advised the audience to “really realiz[e] that this is about a connection with another person … not just about … how quickly can I get to having an orgasm or can I meet that goal?” 

The speakers had lots of advice for the audience. 

Fram told the audience about an experiment in which researchers discovered that feeling cold reduced the likelihood of climaxing because couples who wore socks experienced greater pleasure.  

Miller recommended apps called Kindu and Spicer that help partners explore new ways to connect in the bedroom–without having to have explicit conversations about sex. 

Still, both speakers said improving communication about sex with your partner is key to a good sexual experience.  

“Some people are comfortable asking, ‘What do you like? What feels good?” Miller said. Some people are comfortable answering, “Thanks for asking. Can I text you a list?” 

He added: “Communication doesn’t need to be a serious conversation in which you’re awkward and blushing and why am I doing this? … It could be something as simple as making noise, moaning, communicating that they’re on the right track. It could be something like little check-ins like [saying], ’ Keep doing that.’ Those little check-ins can make a big difference.” 

Students who attended the workshop said they learned a few things. 

One participant said she learned a few things about her body that her sex-education classes did not cover. “And I’ve taken like six,” third-year gender sexuality studies student Samantha Aldridge said. 

Second-year psychology student Lynette Lamp agreed. 

“I thought the coolest thing … was the connection with health classes and not being taught correctly about the female anatomy” Lamp said.  

First-year business administration student Jameira Eades said she appreciated how speakers Miller and Fram both promoted open conversation about sex.  

“I loved how it made everyone feel comfortable,” Eades said. “And it allowed people to realize that sex isn’t something that you should be afraid of, because obviously, a lot of people have sex and enjoy sex.”