Ever since the sixth grade, my dream was to get a degree in film. So when I started taking classes at AACC in 2019 at age 18, my goal was to earn an associate degree in film and transfer to a four-year university.

Somewhere during that first semester, though, I began to lose confidence in myself. I started getting sucked into my own insecurities and fear of failure. Will I be successful? Can I be a good filmmaker? Is this even what I really want to do?

I started showing up to classes less and less often. I ended up failing most of them.

Still, I returned to being a full-time student in spring 2020, this time majoring in writing. I also took a position on the editorial staff of Campus Current, our student newspaper. But I quickly became overwhelmed with classwork and found writing stories for the newspaper intimidating and taxing.

Not wanting to let my family down, I did my best to push through it.

Until the pandemic hit. I didn’t take the transition from in-person classes to online well at all. Once again, I failed my classes. I was let go from Campus Current.

This back-and-forth stream of getting interested in a new career field, putting time and money into it, becoming insecure and then quitting, continued for the next few years. Fear and anxiety had controlled almost every aspect of my life throughout my late teenage years and into my early 20s.

I was always too scared to make the wrong decision, so instead, I didn’t make any decisions, which, more often than not, was worse. I knew the person I wanted to be and what I wanted to do, but in order to become that, I first had to learn how to fail.

I returned to AACC again in fall 2021 and I decided to go back to studying film and media  production. I returned to Campus Current in fall 2022, this time as a photographer. A year later, I stepped into a new role as multimedia editor, which I’ve continued to this day.

I feel successful.

We may not always be able to fix our limitations overnight, but sometimes we can learn to work with them. We can learn to recognize and acknowledge our flaws and our fears, but instead of letting them define us, we can use them as tools to change us into the people we hope to be.

I’m not going to pretend that everything’s perfect. I still struggle with classes. I still have my doubts and insecurities.

But it’s gotten a lot easier to trust myself to get through those hard times. I’m thankful for the places my journey has taken me.

I’m thankful for those in my life who have been willing to stick with me and give me second chances.

I’m thankful that I was able to give myself a second chance and a third chance. I needed them both to grow into the person I’ve become today.